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January 2019

Communication hints – How to get to what we really want to know?

I talked in my last post Nonverbal power in content marketing about non-verbal communication and wise use of silences, and continuing the same path, I wanted to make a post about communication hints.

What are they?

The definition is not easy to make, but what I´m after, are those tricks, with which you can direct the conversation towards your goal. Asking the right questions without being too obvious on what you really want to know. Sounds sneaky right?

Communication has been described as a process of encoding and decoding. The quality of the process depends on the context, (language) skills, attitudes, previous experiences and culture of both the sender and receiver of the message. That said, there´s no one size fits for all.

Sweet, confusing indirectness

The next step is to tackle the term indirect communication. Instead of directly saying what a person is thinking, he´s using facial expressions, tone, gestures, and the speaker´s true intentions remain hidden. Sherrie Bourg Carter Psy.D. writes well how different communication styles can have a huge impact on our relationships. Yet there’s no magic potion to handle these communication differences. Understanding and flexibility help, but more importantly one needs to be aware of indirect communication patterns.

“Now you know my methods, Watson.”

Direct communication style is often perceived as harsh and demanding, and especially in negotiations, it can quickly turn against you. Try asking questions instead, lead the conversation to the topic by sharing their own experiences, build trust, watch for non-verbal cues (nodding, posture, eye contact) and keep the necessary distance.

Don´t tell your listener what to do, let him reach the conclusion himself. More somebody tries to make an effort convincing you, the less you trust the message. Therefore, superlatives are not good click-bait.

Give distance to your listener, and that actually makes communication more effective. Don’t impose ideas, create dialogue instead. Be enthusiast and positive, that tends to be contagious. Arouse curiosity, and never ever underestimate your listeners/readers.

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What we don’t say

Communication is as much nonverbal as it´s verbal. So much can be said without words. Think for example a look of complicity between two friends, or how silently the mother can correct a child. Sometimes raising an eyebrow is enough!

Nonverbal power in content marketing

Silence can be a secret weapon, a powerful communication tool to use with great responsibility. Dr. Albert Mehrabian´s studies claim that a whopping 93 percent of all communication is nonverbal leaving only less than a tenner for words. And yet we put so much more weight on words –, especially in business. There are countless emails, newsletters, content to convert that is based on word count.

However, and more importantly, even though written communication can’t grasp posture, facial expressions or gestures, the tone is something that comes across no matter what. Writing a text is important to think who is the reader (audience) and target the tone accordingly. Voice is an important factor in the brand building too – companies spend money and time defining “how we speak” to our clients, providers and so on. Tone can serious, friendly, even humorous, formal, optimistic and even authoritative or threatening. How do you communicate with your peers? How well does your content convert? Does the message get across?

Next time when you write or read, pay attention to the tone of the text. How does it speak to you?

Silence, our friend

Also, no matter how contradictory it may sound, silence can be an alley, as Declan Mulkeen claims in his article 5 REASONS TO USE SILENCE IN BUSINESS COMMUNICATION. It can be a negotiation tool, arouse interest and even improves creativity. I recommend you to have a look!

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